Life and us

We have finally watched Marley & Me recently. As expected and commented by many, I cried, though I already knew or expected the ending. Yet, I still cried a bucket. Sob sob. From the beginning, I already knew the fate of Marley just because I had gone through the same experience with at least 4 dogs before. Two died of old age but I had witnessed tragic deaths of the other 2 dogs. When I first started the movie, my mind was ready to cry but it was the ending that had me there. Sob!

However, that’s not what I want to say about the movie. I realised something while watching the movie actually. The movie is not only about Marley. To me, it’s about 2 married people and their life together trying to start a family. Rather reflecting our current situation now. Seeing John and Jenny Grogan struggling for career, a home and with Marley, it got me thinking about our life. We too (and I’m sure many others too) are struggling for career and earning more money to pay mortgage. At the same time, we wish to start a family but we are rather in doubt especially in this current economy. It’s like career versus family. My darling always said if we are going to have baby, it will not be easy. We will need to spend more time, more money, more energy. Most importantly, he’s concerned with his career and his stability to earn money to support our family. On the other hand, I know he wants baby sooner or later. A junior Looi. Probably with his character who likes to bite me. Haha! So it’s really a dilemma to us now. We want more ‘us’ time but we know soon we should spend more time making baby and starting family. Sigh!

This is life. Life with so many dilemmas. Life with so many decisions to be made. However, I’m just glad I’m not alone in taking on life. I have him all by my side in my life. Making every decision together. Hu Hu!

 

Questions in life

I have been asked various questions throughout my life so far. Come to think about them, I’m sure many have been asked the same set of questions throughtout their stages in life.

When I was studying in college, many would ask “When will I finish studying?”. If they didn’t see any boyfriends around me, they would ask “When are you going to find a good boy boy?”. Once I found a good boy boy and have been seeing the same guy for couple of years, they would ask “When are you getting married?” Once I got married with the good boy boy perfect man, they would ask “When do you want baby?”. Sigh. When if I have my first baby, I’m sure they will start another question that begins with “When do you want second one?”. Sigh.

Do you realize that the questions are never ending? In my life so far, I don’t think it’s going to end any time soon. Those people who ask them come from various parties too. Start from my mum, my grandmas, my uncles and aunties to his mother, his father, his sisters and relatives. Last but not least, from our friends and colleagues too. Especially my lady colleagues who believe it’s time for me to have baby. They can really ‘bombard’ me with thousands of baby theories. They are probably chanting “Baby! Baby! Baby!”. Hehe!

Honestly, I’m not complaining here. I’m just expressing the wonders of my life that full with ’wonderful’ questions. Haha! I have to admit I used to asked a few questions that I mentioned too. My favorite was the getting married and baby. But since I have to entertain such questions many times since before I got married, I have grown tired of answering. Hence, I have stopped asking. It’s a trick I learn to avoid answering similar question by not asking any. Hahaha!

 

Lay Partners

I have learnt a new term “Lay Partners” since yesterday when I attended a Good Shepherd Partnership gathering. For the first time, I visited their other establishment other than the one they have in Hulu Kelang. Our gathering was at Villamaria Kindergarten in Medan Damansara.

It was my first time attending such gathering too where it involved a lot of parties that made up the Asia Pacific Good Shepherd Sisters ministries. There were the Good Shepherd Sisters who came all the way from Sabah, Ipoh, Singapore and Philippines, the lay associates (those volunteers who are truly committed to serve), volunteers and staff.

Our agenda for the day was quite pack which scheduled to end around 3 p.m. We started at 9.30 a.m. with a morning prayer. Of course I didn’t actually join the praying coz I’m not Christian but I observed during the praying as respect. Our representative for lay associates started the first session with the history and introduction of the foundress of Good Shepherd Sisters, St. Mary Euphrasia. It’s not the first time I heard about St. Mary Euphrasia as her name has been mentioned all the time during other gathering. However, it’s my first time hearing her history and how everything began some 200 years ago. It’s amazing to know her great works during the difficult time of French revolution yet she had achieved far more than expected. She’s the one who started the Sisters of Good Shepherd where the motherhouse is still in Angers, France, and until today the Good Shepherd Sisters have a presence in over 68 countries.

We also had presentation from a Good Shepherd Sister about the great works and challenges St. Mary faced during her time. She further explained that during that time, St. Mary wouldn’t be able to achieve so much if not for her good friends and partners, a Count and a Countess (which I forgot the names). That’s how the Good Shepherd Partnership started and until now this partnership is still ongoing with us, the lay associates. After that, we were tested in a quiz about all that we had learnt in that session. It was all fun and laugh. My group excelled in full marks. Thanks to the Sister who were sitting in our table. Hehe! Then we took a break for lunch and we continued for another session after that about the works that the Good Shepherd Partnership has achieved so far.

I have never thought that with my joining as a volunteer tutor in PKGS, I’m now a part (even very small in my opinion) of a bigger foundation who does great community work around the world. I’m amazed with the whole thing and the amount of work being done by so many great individuals. It was really an eye-opener.

 

A game of mahjong

I have a new theory.

Life is like a game of mahjong.

I concluded with this theory during my conversation with my darling about the difficulties we sometimes face in life. Whenever we have difficulties, we tend to lose control in the situation. Hence, you feel you have bad luck. Nothing is going your way. You can’t get what you want. Furthermore, you feel sad. Disappointed in life. Demotivated even. In other times, we feel we are at top of our world. We get what we want. We are successful for a moment. We are happy. Delighted, of course. We experience these often. True? That’s life. 

I told him that it’s just like a game of mahjong now. We can’t always win in mahjong. We sometimes have to wait for our turn to win and let others win too. At times, we keep on losing but we will win one or two games at the end. Who knows, right? The point is we have to be patient. We have to play our game right. With polished technique plus good luck, I’m sure we will win. 

Same thing goes in life. We must know how to do our work. Plus good luck and blessing from God, we will eventually win in life. We just have to be patient and wait for the right moment. 

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. That’s life indeed.

 

Mystery Shopper

Read this: Mystery Shopper and tell me what you think.

I found this article while browsing through Yoga Journal as I normally do for yoga reading. Its subtitle says “What do your groceries say about you?” and I started to think about what I normally buy for grocery. I started to think how healthy I choose to be. Seriously I’m not as healthy as I should to be a yogi. I started to think I should choose my food in more care.

But after reading the article, it’s nothing about that. It’s not about the choice that you make, it’s rather about appreciate what choices you have. Appreciate your food no matter how unhealthy your civic mind tells you. Sometimes it doesn’t really matter. The key is to have everything in moderate and don’t waste your food. And don’t forget to thank God for what you have right now. It’s always a blessing to have whatever you are having now.

 

Recession

Do you feel it? Did it hit you and your family? I pray that it did not.

But it’s real. It’s here. I have already seen the effect and the damage it has caused to some people. Are we really safe from the hit even though we don’t invest much in the stock market? Can we survive this tsunami? Many told me that it will be okay if you don’t overburden yourself with luxuries i.e. big luxury car and house.

I hope these people are right. For us, we only own a small apartment and still drive old cars. A Kancil and a Daihatsu Feroza. However, I guess we do spend a lot on food and electricity (too many gadgets at home). We have never saved money on food. I spend quite a bit on clothes sometimes. He spends mostly on his gadgets. And we don’t mind spending anything for our home sweet home. We love nice vacation and will do so if we have enough cash. But all these would change if the recession turns even uglier than now. Anyway, I’m going to cut down spending and save more cash. Just in case the situation turns real ugly soon. No one knows, right? We must always prepare for rainy days. Or for even worst, a thunderstorm. Sigh! I pray we all prevail through this difficult times.

 

Tips for better life

I received a very nice emails yesterday from my best friend Ms Lau. I thought other than forwarding it to all my friends, I would also like to share them here in my blog. These tips for better life are easy to follow and really make me happier. Hehe!

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile. - Is walking out for lunch count?

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. – This one is easy on me as I’m always the quiet one in the office. At times, I can go silence up to a few hours a day.

3. Sleep for 7 hours. – I think I sleep 7 hours each day…probably more so on weekends…

4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy. – I’m sure I have empathy…not so sure about the other two…haha!

5. Play more games.

6. Read more books than you did in 2007. – I definitely read more than 2007 and it’s still not end of 2008 yet…

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives. – I love yoga and I’m trying hard to get around to do it more…so as prayer…

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6. – I definitely do although not as often as I wish for…

9. Dream more while you are awake. – Am I dreaming now?

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. – I will try…

11. Drink plenty of water. – I think I do but not enough still…I think I need more water instead of coffee and tea…

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day. – I’m very sure I make at least my darling smiles every day and I hope I can make you (the one reading this) smile too. Hehe!

13. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip. – Gossip always flies around me but I try not to participate in any…hence keeping silence

14. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness. – Good advice…I will try hard to remember it always especially when I’m angry

15. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. – I think I’m a positive person doing exactly the mentioned.

16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime. – I believe everything will pass…no matter good or bad…

17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar. – This is something I fail to do…cannot bring myself to eat like a king in the morning…

18. Smile and laugh more. – Hahahaha! More???

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others. – My sentiment exactly…

20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does. – True…relax and have more fun…

21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. – This really applies to every relationship…

22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present. – Emmm….

23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don’t compare your partner with others. – Sometimes I just can’t help it…bad of me…I know…

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. – I will remember that…

25. Forgive everyone for everything. – I forgive you and pls forgive me…

26. What other people think of you is none of your business. – And we shouldn’t think so much of others as it’s none of our business too.

27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. – It’s a fact of life

28. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch. – Not forgetting your family…

29. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful. – It’s very hard…

30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. – I hope you are right…about all I have

31. The best is yet to come. – Hmmm…

32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. – How about feeling lazy? Hehe!

33. Do the right thing! – at the right time…

34. Call your family often. – I do…but probably not often enough to my mum…I’m sorry

35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.

36. Each day give something good to others.

37. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.

I hope with these tips, you feel better after reading them. Wish you have a good day ahead…and most importantly a better life…

 

Crucial teens

I normally don’t chat in my tuition class. I don’t ask questions that are not related to my subject. However, don’t know what came over me, I was chatting up with my students last night. I recently got these few new students that came to the welfare home, where I am the Malay language tutor. In the middle of the school terms. I have never asked them their backgrounds or the reason they are sent over to the home before. But I got curious last night.

Their reasons are not unusual. They ran away from their home and after that the parents have no other way to reform them, they sent them to the welfare home in the hope that the Sisters and staff can reform them one way or another. What surprised me was the way they were telling me the reason. One of them could just laugh and smile while telling me that her mum always beats her, that’s why she ran away three times before she came to the home. I was HUH??? Why did she think it’s funny? I’m totally shocked by her way of telling her story. Another told me that she ran away from her home too. But not because of family, it’s because of her boyfriend. Yet she told me her boyfriend has another girlfriend and he admitted it the other day. Sigh! What kind of life my students have? It keeps me wondering. And worried.

What is happening to our teenagers nowadays? Broken family. Uncaring parents. Wrong circle of friends. Too doted on one’s child is ’killing’ the child too. I have seen the effect on one of the girls before when the mum just gives whatever her daugther wants. Right now, she’s not studying and keeps on asking for money to go out and enjoy. What kind of life will she have later? Apparently, no life if this continues. And we cannot do anything as the mum does not want her to stay in the welfare home anymore. So that’s the end of the story…on our part anyway.

As a tutor, I cannot do much to make a difference in their life other than focusing on the subject I tutor. I’m trying hard to make them understand the importance of education in their life. I can see some of them are getting my message and trying to make a change in their life. I’m glad and proud of them. Unfortunately, I feel I have failed to reach some others. Sigh!

Working as a tutor in a welfare home really opens my eyes. It keeps me wondering too. Can I be a good parent to my children in the future? Can I guide my children to the right path? Will I still have all the patience I have now with my children? I’m not so sure now and seeing the teenagers nowadays, it definitely makes me scared. Sigh!

 

WTF

I don’t want to be rude but I’m so angry after reading the news here. WTF with teacher nowadays? Teachers are supposed to be caring and helpful. A noble career as I have been told since child. But that’s not the case nowadays. Teachers are selfish, coward and racist. They don’t care about their students anymore. They just go to class and give homework and leave the class when the time is up or even earlier than supposed. I have a lot of stories about such teachers from my tuition students. I’m sure many students out there can attest to such situation at their schools.  The worst is nothing has been done to improve the situation at school. Nobody cares. WTF!

What this pacticular teacher did to the student is totally unacceptable? A disgrace to all ‘noble’ teachers. Unfortunately, this is not the first case. I have heard before so many similar case or even worst. Honestly, I have no confidence in the government school nowadays. I’m worried for the future of my children and all the other children. And to think that I have passion to become a teacher once and hope to make a difference. However, it’s hopeless now, it will never change under our Malaysia education. Totally hopeless. Sigh…

 

As life goes on

One day, we found strays nearby our home. There are at least 7 puppies with their mother. The puppies are so adorable that we couldn’t resist to take photos of them.

Food from some good samaritans. Of course, they prefer mum’s milk.

Here’s their mum. She looks rather pretty. Hehe!

It’s a blessing that we took their photos as the puppies are all gone now, leaving behind the mummy. I’m not sure what’s happened to them but I truly hope they are in good hands. I miss them but there’s nothing we can do. Life goes on…